Today Hubs and I celebrate our fifth anniversary! Yep, we were one of those couples married on 7.7.07. “Lucky in love,” as reporters called us. But I think we have more than just luck. We are intentional. Here are five things that have helped us in our marriage…
- We make time for each other. At night, we have “tea time,” which is basically when we enjoy hot tea (for real, why do people think we are joking about this?) and spend time together. Sometimes it is us sitting down and debriefing the day or talking through situations. And sometimes it is us reading different books but sitting, side by side. When we can, we take advantage of date nights as well.
- We talk to each other. Similar to #2, but it’s not about just being together. It’s about sharing what is going on. It might sound crazy. But living together doesn’t mean we know each other. We know each other because we choose to share our fears, concerns, failures, praises, feats, and laughs with one another. This takes constant communication. Sometimes it’s been such a long day with a toddler that the last thing I want to do is rehash a scenario we had that came up earlier in the day, but how will Brendon know what’s going on in life without me taking the time to share it? And if I don’t share it, how can I expect for us to live life together?
- We pray and worship together. We pray together often. It’s through prayer that we better understand each others’ hearts. This can be both humbling and encouraging.
- We try to put each other before ourselves. Of course, this is a constant struggle. We’re human. It’s hard. But it’s only through turning to Christ and allowing Him to work through us that we can die to ourselves. God is first, and spouses are second. We’ve found that when we are each in a good place with God, caring for one another over ourselves becomes more second nature.
- We strive to meet each others’ needs for respect (him) and love (me). I try to build Brendon up and respect his position in our home. And he does an amazing job loving me, noticing that I best feel loved through gifts and acts of service and taking time for these gestures.
We by no means have it all together, so don’t read this and think that. But we do try to be intentional. Being raised in a society that doesn’t seem to value marriage, we were both so grieved by that, and we came into marriage, knowing that it is only with God that we could succeed and do this marriage thing well. There are certainly many aspects we wish to improve, but we are also so thankful for where we are. We certainly didn’t get to this place by “luck.”